Erected in 1788 and originally a stagecoach stop, the historic inn was believed to have been a stop on the Underground Railroad. A male and a female ghost are said to reside here, and the female is said to be constantly brushing her hair.
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Geographic Information
- Address:
- 399 Depot St
Proctorsville, VT 05153
United States
Get Directions » - GPS:
- 43.37777699999999, -72.634727
- County:
- Windsor County, Vermont
- Nearest Towns:
- Proctorsville, VT (0.4 mi.)
Cavendish, VT (1.4 mi.)
Ludlow, VT (3.5 mi.)
Perkinsville, VT (6.1 mi.)
North Springfield, VT (6.3 mi.)
Chester, VT (8.2 mi.)
Springfield, VT (9.4 mi.)
Ascutney, VT (11.6 mi.)
Charlestown, NH (14.3 mi.)
Windsor, VT (14.4 mi.)
Contact Information
- Web:
- http://www.goldenstageinn.com
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Comments (94)
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Disclaimer: The stories posted here are user-submitted and are, in the nature of "ghost stories," largely unverifiable. HauntedPlaces.org makes no claims that any of the statements posted here are factually accurate. The vast majority of information provided on this web site is anecdotal, and as such, should be viewed in the same light as local folklore and urban legends.
I have seen that lady brushing her hair. I wanted to ask her out on a date, but was too scared to do it and that is no bunch of lies.
I finally mustered the courage to ask “Emily,” the female ghost out on a date. At first she was a bit reticent; however, I was persistent in asking and she finally agreed to accompany me on a dinner date. It quickly became apparent that I was the only one that could see her, because the waitstaff at the restaurant looked at me like I was nuts when I ordered dinner for both of us. By the end of the meal, it looked like Emily had not touched her plate, so I had to eat her entree as well. All in all, we had a nice time together, thought she’s not much of a talker.
Pat Gray
The Earl of Cavendish, VT
Did she look transparent? Also, I have seen her brushing her hair, but when I was going up to her she turned around, smiled, and vanished into thin air. Kind of scary. Then this hotel worker came up to me asking if I was ok and saying that he knows what I saw, and smiles, and walks away…… like wtf!!!!! I also caught a pic of Emily brushing her hair before she vanished.
Emily is not transparent and I must say that uninformed characterization of my bride seems a little insensitive. We enjoy a great relationship. She might inexplicably walk through a wall or door now and then, but I gotta tell ya she’s real. How else can you explain the birth of Little Elmo; he’s my pride and joy.
The locals call the male ghost “George”, but nobody really knows his real name.
That dang Pat Gray dates all them hot ghosts. Just ’cause he’s the Earl of Cavendish, that don’t make him nuthin’ special! Guess he never learned how to share.
Scotty Gabert
Parts Unknown
Emily and I have decided to “tie the knot.” She’s on heck of a gal and never complains a bit when I watch sport on TV. I really couldn’t ask for a more quiet life partner. She’s the one for my alright.
Pat Gray
The Duke of Ludlow, VT
Emily and I have decided to “tie the knot.” She’s one heck of a gal and never complains a bit when I watch sports on TV. I really couldn’t ask for a more quiet and calm life partner. She’s the one for my alright, you can bet your boots on that!
Pat Gray
The Duke of Ludlow, VT
Big news, Emily and I are expecting! She’s a fertile lass, so we’re really hoping for twins!
Pat Gray
The Duke of Ludlow (formerly the Earl of Cavendish)
It’s a boy! Little Elmo was born last weekend! It was a home birth, because the doctors seem to have issues with obtaining vitals on Emily at the hospital. The kid is already exceptional at hide-and-seek; when company comes over, no one can seem to find him. He definitely takes after his mother.
Pat Gray
The Duke of Ludlow, VT
I got it stuck between the boards!
Jim Butler
I got it stuck between the boards!
Jim Butler
Squire of Ludlow, VT
I used to sell real estate in Ludlow for many years..back in the 80-90’s..we also thought “Glimmerstone” in Proctorsville was haunted as well…and the “The Castle” on 103..and several others which I can’t think of right at this moment…I lived in Chester, only knew of one of the stone houses in the “Stone Village” along Rte. 103 which was supposed to be haunted..I’d freak out if I ever saw “a visitor from another dimension.”
I may have gotten it stuck between the board, but I do know that Glimmerstone is in Cavendish, not Proctorsville.
That Pat Gray told me he was takin’ me out ghost huntin’. Next thing I know, the sumbitch drops me off in the middle of friggin’ nowhere and laughs like hell as he drives away. I caught up with him a couple days later and asked him what that was all about. He looked at me, grinned and said “hey Jim, you wanna go ghost huntin’ again? I ain’t been able to figure this out. I’m thinkin’ he might have some kinda mental problems or something. I dunno.
I was out for an evening stroll in Proctorsville recently with my lovely bride. I’m not 100% sure, but I think I saw the ghost of Moose Surething out behind Singleton’s.
Duke of Ludlow
I ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost!
There have been far too many strange sightings and unexplained phenomena lately in our neck of the woods. I’ve decided to seek some answers and have thus formed the Black River Valley Paranormal Research Organization (BRVPRO). You can bet your ass we’re gonna get to the bottom of all this these bizarre happenings, ’cause we ain’t ‘fraid of no ghosts!
Pat Gray
Executive Director
BRVPRO
Pat of Gray, Earl of Black River Valley,
Last time I crossed the Green Mountains going to White River Junction on the Yellow Brick Road under a blue sky I instructed the driver to locate and stop at a coffee bar in Ludlow. Whilst he procured said item, I entered baker’s place of commerce to purchase the famous orange pastry. With a true sadness he explained the supply of orange had been depleted, but he had a surplus of Red Cinnamon Carmel Rolls. I bought the lot. In the transaction of currency, I noted his nickname on his cream stained clothing. It read ” Goldie “. In my mind I reviewed all the colors I had experienced, thus in my daydreaming I paid with a bill of a great deal of money and he cheated me on the change about. Without thinking I hit him. So you see I am the man who struck gold in Ludlow.
We went out on one helluva ghost hunt last night because, according to local lore, there is tremendous paranormal activity here in the Black River Valley during the Sturgeon Moon. I never knew we had sturgeon in the Black River, so that was quite a surprise. In any event, we captured quite a lot of evidence that we will be sifting through over the next few days. I’m pretty sure we’re going to be able to make a confirmation on the recent activity near Singleton’s Store. I’ll keep you posted.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
After exhaustive hours reviewing the recent footage from the night of the Sturgeon Moon investigation, we have an update on the purported paranormal activity associated with Singleton’s Store. We are somewhat disappointed to report that we learned it was Jim Butler running around with a sheet, rather than a true spectral presence. Apparently, he was hoping to get our attention and join the BRVPRO team. At least we cleared this up.
We appreciate Jim’s efforts and welcome him to BRVPRO. He’s gonna be one helluva contributor to this investigative team. As a scholarly research organization, we’re gonna solve a lot of the mysteries in this area, you can bet your ass on that!
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
I got called out on a special investigation last night. I am excited to report that BRVPRO has confirmed the presence of a bigfoot in Smokeshire! For obvious reasons, we’re keeping the exact location confidential.
Pat Gray
Cryptozoologist
BRVPRO
Well, news of the Smokeshire Bigfoot sure traveled fast. BRVPRO has now been hired to investigate the many reported sighting of the Okemo Yeti. Reports of the Okemo Yeti predate the existence of the ski area, so this is going to be one heck of an interesting investigation. We plan to send out Jim Butler in a female Yeti suit in an attempt to lure in a breeding male. I have to believe this tactic is foolproof, but only time will tell.
Pat Gray
Cryptozoologist
BRVPRO
Everything was going perfectly this past weekend on our first attempt to lure in the breeding male Yeti using Jim Butler as our “female” Yeti in an amazingly realistic costume. In fact, we had the male within 100 yards of Jim, unbeknownst to him, until suddenly Jim decided to pop open a can of beer that we had no idea he had hidden in the Yeti suit. Let me tell you, all hell broke loose then. The male Yeti let out a roar that they must have heard in Tunbridge and took of running. That brought a quick conclusion to the investigation for the night. We obviously need to figure out the best path forward. I believe the Yeti suit can still work, but we definitely will need to search Jim before we deploy him again.
Pat Gray
Cryptozoologist
BRVPRO
Okemo Yeti update: we ran into a slight snag during our follow-up investigation this past weekend, and I do mean a BIG snag. Jim was briefly abducted by the male Yeti, who clearly thought he had found a mate. The Yeti tossed Jim over his shoulder and had begun to head off into the woods. Fortunately, we had the hindsight to bring a team of dogs with us. They surrounded the Yeti, who proceeded to drop Jim and run away, roaring like a sumbitch as he went. The good news is we have definitely confirmed the presence of the Okemo Yeti, but I don’t think we have the capacity to actually capture him, he is just way too big and strong to mess with given our present capabilities.
Pat Gray
Cryptozoologist
BRVPRO
Now that we’ve proven beyond the shadow of a doubt the presence of the Smokeshire Bigfoot and the Okemo Yeti, we are going to try to get back to our primary focus of seeking explanations for the paranormal. We’re heading out on a little camping trip to the Bennington Triangle. There have been many strange occurrences in that area, and we can’t wait to set up camp on Glastenbury Mountain. Who the hell knows what we might find. There have been reports of UFOs, multiple human disappearances, and even a bigfoot known as the Bennington Monster. I thought we were moving away from hairy cryptids for a while, but we may run smack dab into one just the same. This is gonna be our biggest and best investigation to date. Wish us luck and I will definitely keep everyone posted!
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
Well, we’re down here in tents on Glastenbury Mountain and it is extreme. Cell service is completely wacky. Biggest problem is that Jim has already gone missing. Knowing him, this is either something stupid or we should be calling in help. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
Pat of Gray,
Your brief of late has now hit a home run,
Ghost, Big Foot, Yeti und UFO. This now has full attention of ” www ” aka World Wide Weirdos. You can expect the unexpected visits, they might sneak in your computer.
Bee wear.
We have experienced the most unbelievable events of our lives since we set up camp here last night on Glastenbury Mountain. We found Jim, but he’s worse for wear. He mutters things about the Bennington Monster, but we don’t know what to make of it. There have been strange lights in the sky and even Native American visions. We are very scared for the first time, but we’re going to push through and complete this investigation. I hope we don’t disappear from the earth.
Pay Gray
BRVPRO
Unfortunately, we’ve got some serious weather moving in and we are breaking camp tonight on Glastenbury Mountain. We were prepared to stay as long as it took produce significant evidence of unusual activity in the Bennington Triangle, but we can’t fight Mother Nature. We will be back, you can bet your ass on that. As it is, I think we need to get Jim off the mountain anyhow, he just ain’t been tight since he disappeared for about 10 hours on Friday night. He still won’t say anything about what happened, but he continues to walk funny. I sure hope he wasn’t buggered by the Bennington Monster, that’s my greatest concern at this point.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
Well, we are trying to regroup, reconnoiter, and generally figure things out after our trip to the Bennington Triangle. As of now, Jim has left BRVPRO for an undetermined period. We hope he returns, but understand he experienced things that might not allow for that. No matter what, we wish him all the best and we are going to continue our work.
If anyone is interested in joining BRVPRO, please let me know.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
I have received inquiries from several people who are interested in joining BRVPRO. I hope to report back soon announcing that we have a newly invigorated team of experienced paranormal investigators. I’ll let you know once I complete all of the interviews. wish me luck.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO and former multi-time Man of the Year
It looks like we’ve got the band back together and then some! Jim has returned to the fold and two new investigators have joined the team, so we’re now fully prepared to tackle some major investigations. In fact, in the wake of Hurricane Ian, we’ve be hired to head on down to Florida to confirm the presence of bigfoot there, where he’s also know as the Swamp Ape of Skunk Ape. The consensus is that the hurricane, with all the flooding and habitat disruption, will have significantly altered the normal routine of this bigfoot and make him much more vulnerable to detection. We are sure as hell gonna find out and we will keep you posted, you can bet your boots on that!
Pat Gray
BRVPRO and Mensa Member
Well, while we were searching for the Florida Swamp Ape, we instead stumbled across a Sea Hag that was blown inland by Hurricane Ian – and now Jim is in love. I don’t know how this is going to impact our current investigation, but I get the feeling it is not going to be very helpful.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
What exactly is a sea hag?
I realize that I’m overdue for an update on our Florida mission, so I’ll unpack everything right here and now. We found significant evidence of the Florida Swamp Ape, including tracks and scat, but we were unable to produce photographic evidence. Sadly, we were hampered in our work by Jim’s obsessive need to be with the Sea Hag. Fortunately, she finally flew the coop and headed back out to sea. Jim is heartbroken, but will get over it.
We finally had to return to Ludlow, simply because we could no longer afford to stay in Florida any longer. We are satisfied with our evidence that the Florida Swamp Ape exists, but wish we had more conclusive proof to share with the world.
Anyhow, we are BACK in LUDLOW, VERMONT and we are gonna continue to shed light on all things paranormal and other-worldly, you can bet your ass on that.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO & Quantum Physicist
I realize that I’m tardy in reporting on our endeavors. Upon our return from Florida, all of us really buckled down at our day jobs in order to save up some funds for another exciting mission. I’m very pleased to report that we’ve saved enough cash to make a follow-up trip back to Florida and we are literally on our way today. We hope to arrange a sit-down with Governor DeSantis to get his unput. We’re gonna bring back conclusive proof of the Swamp Ape, you can bet your ass on that, and that’s the bottom line, because BRVPRO said so!
Pat Gray
Cryptozoologist & Millenium Man of the Year
We tried our best, but Governor Desantis said he was too busy to meet with us. He did wish us luck in pursuing the dang Skunk Ape. I’m sad to report that we haven’t had much luck since we arrived here just over two weeks ago, but we’re keeping at it. The Sea Hag has stayed away from Jim, so at least that has not been a distraction. Looks like we’re gonna be here for Thanksgiving and possibly until Christmas. We decided as a team that we are having Gator tomorrow instead of Turkey. Happy Thanksgiving to our loyal followers and you can rest assured we will get proof of that sumbitch!!!
Pat Gray
Rocket Scientist
We are heading back to Ludlow in time for Christmas! We managed to catch a skunk ape in an elaborate trap that Jim designed. He’s quite clever when it comes to catching things including the crabs, but I digress.
We were about to get some photos of the skunk ape when, from outta friggin’ nowhere, the dang sea hag shows up in a fury, destroying the trap and releasing the skunk ape. Best we can figure is that they are some sort of item. In any event, we were foiled in our effort to obtain solid proof.
We’ve had enough of the damn Florida swamps for now. Jim got bitten by a python that was about the size Kansas, so we need to get back north where there are no snakes or alligators.
We’re gonna get back onto the Okemo Yeti, since we hear that the weather in Ludlow and Mt. Holly is now much more favorable for hunting this cryptid. As always, we will keep you up to date.
Merry Christmas,
Pat Gray
Jeopardy Champion
We made it through the holidays in a more or less uneventful fashion, though Jim did manage to get in a bit of a scrape with some tourists that said he reminded them of the wrestler George “The Animal” Steele. Despite the fact that it was an accurate comparison, Jim took exception to that characterization, which led to a bit of a brawl.
We’ve really been waiting for the return of winter weather before we fully reengage in our efforts to apprehend the Okemo Yeti. As always, I’ll keep you posted.
Pat Gray
Scatologist
After the fresh snowfall we went out for a little reconnaissance on the Okemo Yeti. We didn’t find any signs of the Yeti, but as luck would have it, we ended up having an extraterrestrial experience. I can’t go into details yet, as we are looking into developing this into a television program, so please stay tuned.
I never would have dreamed that we would be venturing into the UFO business, but that appears now to be the case. You can bet your ass we’re gonna unlock some answers about about aliens and that sort of shit.
Pat Gray
Ufology Expert in Training
We ain’t ‘fraid of no ET
I have a very important update. earlier this week we went out on a hunt for the Okemo Yeti. We didn’t have much luck, but something incredible happened just the same: I got myself abducted by a sumbitchin’ alien! Now how the hell is that for hijinks?
We were close to the peak of the mountain at about 2:30 am. Four of us had fanned-out into a line about 100 yards apart. I was at the north end of the line. All of a sudden, strange reddish lights appeared from nowhere and were directly in front of me, just above the treetops. Next thing I know, I bright white light shoots down at me and I wake up inside some sort of alien craft. These strange looking bastards (honestly, they looked a little like Jim) were staring down at me as a was laid out one some sort of platform. I blacked out again and next thing I knew I woke up in the snow, right where I had been standing. The rest of the crew was standing over me. Apparently, they never saw anything, but came looking or me after I quit answering my radio.
I have no clue what the hell happened, but I’m not sure I want to go back up on that mountain again any time soon. I’ll keep you posted. I hope they didn’t impregnate me somehow, that would be problematic.
Pat Gray
Ufologist
Well, wouldn’t you know it, my alien abduction turned out to be an elaborate hoax perpetrated by none other than my investigative team. They really think they are some funny sumbitches.
The red lights I saw in the treetops were lasers being pointed up there by the team. The bright white light was a high-intensity spotlight shined directly into my eyes. They tased me at the same time they hit me with the spotlight. When I came to, it was my team in costumes (except for Jim, they figured he was alien-like enough from the get-go) leaning over me. They zapped me with the taser again and then removed the masks. When I awoke disoriented, of course they were standing over me. They did do a tremendous job at keeping straight faces. I would never have learned the truth if it hadn’t been for Jim getting pie-eyed and bragging about it.
I’m considering kicking them all off the team but will likely plot revenge instead. When I get them back, I’ll let you all know the details, you can bet your ass on that.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
I ain’t no alien.
We have waited for the coldest night of the year – we are headed out tonight and we are gonna get conclusive proof of that sumbitchin’ Okemo Yeti. We may get frostbite, but it is perfect Yeti weather!
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
Dartmouth College, Adjunct Professor
Turns out it wad too cold for the dang Yeti, we didn’t see any sign of him. Unbeknown to us, Jim snuck along a fifth of Jack Daniels and drank the entire thing in about an hour. We ended up having to haul his sorry ass off the mountain on a toboggan. It was not the monster hunt we planned. We will be back at it, you can bet your ass on that.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
American Anthropological Association
I weren’t that drunk.
Well, we finally went out on a good, old-fashioned ghost hunt. For privacy’s sake I can’t give out the specific location, but we completed an investigation in a house with significant paranormal activity in the Hortonville area of Mt. Holly. Let me tell ya, that Jim is lying when he says he “ain’t ‘fraid of no ghost.” That lily-livered sumbitch ran out of the house like his ass was on fire when we witnessed a shadow figure glide down an upstairs hallway. I must admit, it shook me up a little bit as well. We got some great pics and a couple of very interesting EVPs. It was fun to get back to what we really do best, and you can bet your ass we’re gonna keep it up.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO
International Cave & Karst Expert
With spring now officially here, we’re gonna make one final push to get that dang Okemo Yeti. Jim has constructed one helluva trap that I think might just actually work. I never realized that Jim was such a skilled craftsman. The sumbitch is definitely brighter than he looks. I will let you know how this works out, we’re planning on making it a multi-day event.
Pat Gray
Cryptozoologist
My sincere apologies for the long delay in reporting back to you. With yesterday being National Paranormal Day, I was reminded of my duty to you loyal readers.
We did complete a final push to capture the Okemo Yeti using Jim’s amazing trap. We had the sumbitch in the trap, but he was so strong that he smashed his way out before we were able to get close enough to get a photo. We will try again next winter but must strengthen our design.
Since then, we are back into ghost hunting at least one or two nights a week. Our most active night so far was at a private residence in Gassetts. We had Jim roam around the house in a sheet making weird noises, which really isn’t a stretch for him anyhow. After about an hour, we all watched (via video from another room) a very clear apparition of a woman approach Jim and grab his hand. Instead of fleeing, as we expected. Jim tuned to the apparition, removed his sheet, and appeared to kiss the apparition. It was the strangest thing we have ever seen. The bad news is that he seems to be in love again, only this time it’s with a ghost.
That’s all for now.
Pat Gray
The Sentinel
With the return of good weather, we are preparing for a return trip to Glastenbury Mountain and the Bennington Triangle. After what happened last year, Jim is undecided whether he will make the trip. Honestly, I can’t blame him after the experience he had with the Bennington Monster. I’ll keep y’all posted as we prepare for this big adventure.
Pat Gray aka R. Bolla
We are still working out the logistics of our upcoming return expedition to the Bennington Triangle, but in the meantime, we have managed to stir up some incredible local action. Last night the team headed out on a bigfoot hunt up on Skin Pecker Ridge. Instead of bigfoot, we stumbled on whole pack of Chupacabras. Let me tell ya, them sumbitches is scary. Thankfully, we were well armed, and a couple of warning shots scared them off. We should have obtained video footage, but Jim was on the sauce again and managed to drop the camera into a brook at the absolute worst time imaginable. We’re gonna go there again soon and see if we can find them again and you can bet your ass on that! Stay tuned faithful readers.
We are planning on heading to the Bennington Triangle the weekend of July 1st and staying through the 4th of July. Our aim is to capture the Bennington Monster or obtain some other proof of otherworldly or supernatural activity that will be worthy of international news. We plan to bring a big batch of fireworks, so we can set them off to celebrate. We are not telling Jim about our pyrotechnics as he’s liable to do something really stupid with them before the intended time. I’ve sent an invitation to Joe Citro, to see if he would like to accompany us on this historic hunt. I imagine he will be thrilled at the invitation and having Vermont’s foremost ghost expert with us would certainly be of great value to the team. I’ll keep you all posted about this trip as things unfold. We’re gonna find things like a sumbitch, I just know it.
Pat Gray
BRVPRO Team Leader
Well, wouldn’t you know it, Cavendish is hosting a ghost tour this coming Saturday and, as the foremost paranormal expert in this entire region, for some inexplicable reason I was snubbed by not being asked to participate in the event. This slight is incomprehensible to me.
I guess BRVPRO might just have to do some investigating in Cavendish on Saturday night and you can bet your ass that we’ll find more sumbitchin’ paranormal activity than the folks leading the ghost walk and I can gosh darn guarantee that.
Pat Gray
Paranormal Influencer
We are especially excited for Saturday night’s Cavendish ghost hunt. We just received a hot & reliable tip that a skin walker has been seen on Proctor Piper. We are planning to try to channel the spirit of Firebug Fitton to aid us in our quest to gain conclusive evident of the Proctor Piper Skinwalker on Saturday night. We will keep you posted.
Pat Gray
Paranormal Influencer
Well, it’s time to unpack our investigation of the Proctor Piper Skin Walker. We had one helluva night! Instead of a skin walker, we ended up face-to-face with a Wendigo. They ain’t supposed to be in our area. We got the hell outta there, as them Wendigos are dangerous. We will get this figured out.
We had primarily thought of Jim as a trap-builder and drinker, but it turns out the sumbitch is one helluva researcher. After our encounter with the Wendigo on Proctor Piper, Jim set out to see what he could find for additional information. It turns out there is a rich history of Wendigo sightings in the Proctor Piper area with several credible eyewitness accounts made in the 30’s by members of the Civilian Conservation Corps that were working in the area. In fact, rumor has it that it was the Wendigo that burned the CCC picnic building back in the 1980’s in delayed retaliation for the CCC camp being established on the Wendigo’s sacred grounds. We never know Jim was such a scholar. Anyhow, wanted to share this important Cavendish history with my faith readers.
Pat Gray
Paranormal Influencer
You’re F*ckin’ A right I’m a friggin’ genius.
Well, we arrived this morning and got our amp set up on Glastenbury Mountain. We are now all set to begin our Independence Day investigation of the Bennington Triangle. That dang Joe Citro never got back to me about accompanying us, so it’s just our core team. We made sure that Jim didn’t bring along any alcohol, so that should help. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Pat Gray
Paranormal Influence
So much transpired during out trip to the Bennington Triangle that I don’t have the time or energy to get into it all now, but I promise to make a full report very soon. Suffice it to say I wish we had brought them Roto Rooter guys from the Ghost Hunters TV show with us ‘cause we encountered poltergeists up the ass! On top of that, Jim ended up with a gallon of moonshine that he insists was given to him by the Bennington Monster as a peace offering for what happened down there last summer. As you can imagine, Jim with a full gallon of moonshine at his disposal did not enhance the investigation. I’ll report back soon.
Pat Gray
Paranormal Influencer
I know I am terribly behind with my updates, but the dang Vermont flooding last week was almost the final straw. As a Ludlow resident, my laptop went down the Black River along with pretty much all the amazing evidence we gathered during our Bennington Triangle Investigation. I tried to meet with Pete Buttigieg while he was here, but he seemed very unsupportive of FEMA relief for loss of paranormal investigative date. Now that don’t make no sense at all. The sumbitch thinks roads, houses, bridges, etc. are more important than science. He clearly ain’t too bright. I will be calling Joe Biden and I will report back to you soon.
Pat Gray
Hydrologist and Flood Expert
Well, wouldn’t you just know it, I ain’t getting’ no help from the White House either. Looks like our Bennington Triangle investigation will have to be repeated, as all data was lost.
On a different note, I did have another extraterrestrial experience two nights ago. I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and saw this goofy-looking alien creature standing beside my bed. At first, I thought it was Jim playing another practical joke, since he has been mistaken as an alien on multiple occasions. However, as I glanced around, I counted a total of six of them sumbitches in my room. Unfortunately, that’s all I remember. I woke up the next morning and my second story window was open. I know it was closed when I went to bed. I also had several bruises on my body, so something sure happened to me, I just have no idea what it was and I’m not sure that I want to if I am being honest. Them bastards better not have been up to any funny business. Guess we’ll see if this happens again.
I’ll keep y’all posted.
Pat Gray
Ufologist
I decided on behalf of the team that we are going to take a big chance and further investigate the Wendigo that we encountered on Proctor Piper back in June. Jim has conducted additional research and there is evidence that folks have had some success soothing ill-tempered Wendigos with poetry, so we’re gonna give that a shot and see what happens. After all, what could go wrong?
Pat Gray
Troubador
Well, I’ll tell ya what could go wrong, a whole friggin’ lot. That dang Wendigo was no fan of poetry, of that you can be assured. Our team is pretty well beat up and bruised, but we did survive the encounter, so for that we are grateful. When I have more time, I will fill folks in on the details, but for now, we are all convalescing. The Wendigos is a real SUMBITCH!
Proctorsville Poet Laureate
What the hell is up with this Field Marshal stuff? What ‘s it supposed to mean?
Do you know Field Marshal Bradley?
Well, wouldn’t you just know it, they hold a Phineas Gage walk in Cavendish and don’t invite me! As a world-renowned expert on Mr. Gage, especially due to my pursuit of his spectral presence, it’s inconceivable that I was not asked to participate. You can bet your boots the next time I meet up with his ghost I’m gonna tell Phineas all about this slight. He ain’t gonna be pleased; he and I go way back!
I do thank all you faithful readers for your continued support. We have some BIG plans for an upcoming investigation that I will be sharing with you shortly. I had hoped to do it at the recent Vermont Golden Honey Festival, but just don’t have the plans quite finalized enough to share with the public. Will share soon.
Pat Gray
Competitive Eater
Maybe they didn’t want you there ’cause you ain’t half as bright as you think you are. I’m starting to think I should take over as leader of BRVPRO.
Jim Butler
aka Ghost Rider
Unfortunately, I had to have little sit-down with Jim and remind him who founded BRVPRO and is also the “brains of the operation.” I informed him that his attempted coup would not be tolerated and that he ceases such nonsense and apologize, or forever more be banished from the organization. He is still with us, so that answers that!
On a positive note, we have an upcoming investigation planned that is gonna be spectacular. We recently learned that there is a Snallygaster up on Skin Pecker Ridge, and by God we are gonna capture that sumbitch! Jim is working on a special trap design now.
I will keep you all posted as we get closer to what is almost guaranteed to be the biggest event on the entire eastern seaboard in 2023 and you can bet you boots on that!
Pat Gray
Professional
The Snallygaster hunt is gonna by far be the most dangerous investigation we have ever undertaken. For those of you not familiar, a Snallygaster is half-reptile, half-bird and had razor-sharp teeth and talons. The sumbitch can weigh up to 500 pounds and can have a wingspan of up to 18 feet. Now you see what we are up against. I’ll post more soon but wanted to update y’all.
Pat Gray
Professional
We are gonna go after the Snallygaster this Saturday. It’s supposed to rain like a sumbitch up on Skin Pecker Ridge and our research show that them Snallygasters really love the rain. Jim has devised an impressive trap: we are gonna fire cannon nets to capture the sumbitch. The same idea as they use to capture large flocks of birds, but in our case, we are using wire mesh nets and super heavy-duty cannons, so nothing could possibly go wrong with this approach. I will update all of you faithful followers to let you know how it all turns out and hopefully have some incredible photos to share.
Pat Gray
Professional
As promised, I am here to report om the Skin Pecker Ridge Snallygaster Investigation. To say it did not go “swimmingly” is a massive understatement. We baited heavy for the Snallygaster based on our research. We bought 40 pounds of prime rib, 10 roasting chickens, and 5 whole pork tenderloins to bait Jim’s cannon net trap. Pretty expensive sumbitchin’ bait lemme tell ya.
As we took our positions and unbeknown to the rest of the team, Jim, while waiting to fire the cannon nets started to imbibe the gallon of elderberry wine he had secretly brought along. After a couple of hours, he got hungry and tried using his lighter to cook small chunks of meat he began cutting off the bait pile. Fortunately, another team member noticed and nipped that behavior in the bud.
After about 3 hours, the bait worked good as a sumbitch and the dang Snallygaster flew in and landed about 100 yards out and then slowly walked toward the trap. What a magnificent bastard he was – huge and scary as hell. When the Snallygaster finally made it to the bait pile and well within the cannon net deployment zone we were all so excited. We signaled for Jim to fire the net and that’s when the whole thing went to shit. In his elderberry-addled state, he had set the cannons in the opposite direction. The cannons went off and Jim managed to net himself. Of course, the Snallygaster flew away as soon as the cannons fired.
I don’t mind telling you I am frustrated. As a 16-time Man of the Year, I don’t deserve this humiliation. Not sure where we go from here, but as always. I’ll keep you faithful updated.
Pat Gray
Professional
I want to let everyone know that I have made a pitch to get BRVPRO a TV series on the Discovery Channel. There’s all them sumbitchin’ programs that have been successful for years, with the same guys trying to dig gold outta the ground or pullin’ up the same stupid crab pots that it makes sense my idea for a show would be a huge success. People would love to tune in to watch serious cryptid and paranormal investigators provide iron-clad proof of the existence of some iconic mythic creatures. We are the best in the business, so it only makes sense for Discovery to give us a shot at making TV history.
Imagine also that this program will be based out of Ludlow, VT, an iconic ski town. I can only imagine the partnership opportunities this will present for ski area and other local businesses. We are gonna really put this place on the map baby. Ludlow will be known for a lot more than skiing if they decide to green-light our show. I will let you all know as soon as possible.
Pat Gray
Professional
If we end up on TV, I’m gonna be the star and there ain’t no doubt about that.
As a matter of fact, I plan to get top billing in the credits. My contributions to BRVPRO are immeasurable.
Yesterday, on the VPR program Vermont Edition, they featured a segment called “What’s lurking in Vermont? A Halloween special on cryptids, ghosts and unexplained phenomena.” Once again, I have been slighted like a sumbitch. They had other supposed experts on the program including the head of the International Cryptozoology Museum in Maine, but they failed to invite me, the leader of BRVPRO and world’s foremost expert on crytptids, extraterrestrials, and the paranormal. It makes no sense at all. Once my new Discovery Channel program hits the air, people are gonna regret overlooking me. Pretty dang soon I’m gonna be the hottest ticket in town and people will beg me to make public appearances and you can bet your boots on that.
I am excited to report that I heard back from the Discovery Channel. They are willing to air a pilot episode of BRVPRO in action. Since they will be footing the bill for all the expenses, they have established some ground rules and are maintaining some strict editorial control over the content. In this case, they are insistent that our pilot episode focus on proving the existence of Lake Champlain’s very own Champ. We are very pleased like a sumbitch with that topic. Jim says he has a lot of nautical expertise, so we should be able to put that to very good use. This is all still in the planning stage, but I will keep you faithful readers posted.
If any team in the world can provide conclusive evidence of Champ, it is indeed BRVPRO!
Pat Gray
Crypto Zoologist Extraordinaire
They are gonna hafta call me Captain Jim on the show.
After several months we have finally worked out all the legal issues and BRVPRO has signed a contract with the Discovery Channel to begin filming our pilot episode in the spring, when we will attempt to prove without question the existence of Champ on Lake Champlain.
We are currently negotiating with the Rubenstein School of Environment and Natural Resources at UVM to see if we can lease their Marcelle Melosira research vessel for this investigation.
This update was long overdue, so I wanted to make sure you faithful fands were up to speed on our efforts to get on television. I can also confirm that, despite a few misgivings, Jim will captain whatever vessel we do end up using for the investigation and we will indeed refer to him as Captain Jim. Somehow, he managed to get that into our contract. He is a sly sumbitch; I’ll give him that!
Pat Gray
2023 Ludlow Man of the Year
I been tellin’ ya I’m the friggin’ brains of the operation and I have finally proven it!
Our effort to lease UVM’s Marcelle Melosira research vessel to film our pilot episode for the Discovery Channel has fallen through. The university people took one look at Captain Jim and said there was no way in hell that sumbitch was gonna pilot their new boat. In fact, the language they used was a bit stronger than that, but I try to keep my commentary PG-rated for the kids. Who can blame them? One look at Jim is all it takes to realize he’s not fit to play with himself, let alone pilot a multimillion-dollar boat. In any event, we need to find another vessel to use for this project. If any of you faithful readers have suggestions, please let me know. We hope to begin filming in April. We ain’t gonna film this bastard from some dingy, of that you can be assured.
Pat Gray
2023 Ludlow, VT Man of the Year
We ended up renting a custom schooner, so we’re gonna look like a bunch of friggin’ pirates in our quest to locate Champ. Jim has already decided that he wants to wear an eyepatch and carry a cutlass. This is shaping up to either be a complete fiasco, or perhaps the most comical scientific cryptid search ever filmed. The sumbitch is already going around using all kinds of pirate phrases. He won’t stop saying “Splice the Mainbrace!” and “Crack Jenny’s Teacup.” He’s a friggin’ unit alright.
Anyhow, I wanted you to know that we’ve found our vessel and we are slated to begin filming on April 15. Of course, I will keep you all posted on this endeavor.
Pat Gray
2023 Ludlow, VT Man of the Year
OMG, Jim somehow managed to procure a couple of functional Revolutionary War Carronade. No idea where he found that sumbitch. He is insisting on making his own gunpowder as well. What could go wrong there LOL. We plan to secretly feed him a bunch of Saltpeter, as there is no way in hell that the world needs any of his progeny wandering around. I have no idea what we’re gonna do with the Carronade, but it should prove interesting.
Pat “I like to Lope my Mule” Gray
Well, I have a less-than-positive update for all you fans of BRVPRO. As planned, we began sailing around Lake Champlain in our rented schooner on Monday, April 15. We followed several leads but never had any luck finding much of anything. For the most part, we kept Jim away from the rum, though we were forced to listed to his incessant “pirate-speak.”
Everything changed this past Sunday afternoon. We weren’t far from the Canadian border when our sonar picked up a very large presence underwater that was moving in parallel to the schooner. Little did we know that Jim had secretly been into the rum since the night before and started acting like Captain Ahab going after Moby Dick. Before we knew what was happening, Jim fired off the cannonades, right through the bottom of the damn schooner. Thankfully, the Coast Guard rescued our entire team and the Discovery Channel film crew just before our vessel sank to the bottom of the lake.
As you can imagine, the folks at the Discovery Channel are none too happy at this turn of events. Believe it or not, we are going to see if we can come up with another vessel to finish thins dang investigation, though no one seems to be interested in leasing or renting us a boat after we sunk the last one. Now that’s quite an achievement, don’t you think?
As always, I’ll keep you posted, but things are looking a little bleak right now. I believe it might have been better to stay home and lope my mule, if you understand what I’m talking about. LOL.
Pat Gray
Ludlow, VT Man of the Year
As of today, we are officially back on the Lake searching for Champ thanks to a very generous benefactor who has loaned us two very large pontoon boats to carry out and film the investigation.
Thankfully, Jim has been relieved of his captain’s duties, so we are hoping for some smooth sailing (pun intended) moving forward. Now that he has additional time on his hands, we can’t get Jim to stop talking about his one-eyed trouser serpent and how it should be featured on the Discovery Channel.
As always faithful readers, I will keep you updated on the adventures of BRVPRO.
Pat Gray
CEO, Vandelay Industries
It is with a heavy heart that I am reporting to you fans today to inform you the dream of BRVPRO having an exclusive cryptid program on the Discovery Channel is now officially over.
We spent the better part of May searching for Champ, but the sumbitchin’ pontoon boats were just too dang slow to cover such a vast area with any efficiency. When we finally did locate Champ by sonar, things went to hell in a handbasket in one helluva hurry. We were near Rousses Point, NY when we finally found that slippery bastard. Lemme tell ya, that sumbitch is faster than a chupacabra in heat. Jim had devised a large harpoon gun and fired at the slimy beast as we were traveling full steam ahead at 25 knots. Well, the dumbass hit a log on the shoreline instead. As the line went taught, our pontoon boat flipped over. The film crew’s boat also hit the line and flipped also.
So, there you have it, we all ended up in the water once again. It was simply too much for the Discovery Channel execs to bear, and we were informed right then and there that the jig was up. I’ll spare you the details of the aftermath.
So, where are we going from here, you might ask? We are back in Ludlow, VT, baby, and we are right back at what we do best and that is searching for terrestrial cryptids. We are all done with all aquatic searches for the foreseeable future.
We are planning on a hunt later this month for the Brownsville Bigfoot, which has been sighted for decades on the North slopes of Mt. Ascutney. You can bet your ass we are gonna catch that sumbitch!
Stay tuned my friends, as I will regale you soon with that upcoming adventure!
Pat “I’m Quite an Achievement” Gray
Hello friends, I want to let you know that we are going to do a preliminary investigation this weekend for the Brownsville Bigfoot. For the past week we have been researching all that we can about this hairy bastard, and we have interviewed several local eyewitnesses. By all account, he’s one mean sumbitch, so we are going to proceed with extreme caution, you can bet your boots on that!
Based on the eyewitnesses who came forward, this beast is extremely large and powerful, so Jim is working diligently to design his most formidable bigfoot trap to date. If all goes well, we hope to deply the trap before the end of June,
As always, I will keep you posted.
Pat Gray
Renaissance Man
Once again, I must apologize for being overdue in reporting to my faithful readers. It is your support and encouragement that help drive me to continue with these dangerous paranormal, cryptozoological, and extraterrestrial endeavors.
We did finally deploy one helluva electrified trap for the Brownsville Bigfoot investigation. Jim fabricated it out of metal cattle fencing panels and had multiple marine batteries hooked up providing the “juice.” We baited the sumbitch heavy with a combination of roadkill and old cold cut ends, as we heard that this Bigfoot is quite fond of bologna and other processed meats. We left the trap set unattended overnight, as we all had to work early the next morning. We did set up a game cam with the hope that regardless of what transpired we would have some photographic evidence to review. The following afternoon when we arrived at the trap, we found it demolished and the game camera was also missing. There were many Bigfoot prints of various sizes at the scene, so we know for sure there is more than one Bigfoot in Brownsville and they are very intelligent considering how they outwitted the trap and camera.
We are in the process of figuring out the best way to reapproach this investigation, as we now know for certain that the area has Bigfoots up the ass! I will let you know our new plans as they evolve.
Pat “I lope my mule whether I need it or not” Gray
Folks, I am back with my latest update and lemme tell ya it’s a doozy! Since we learned that Brownsville, Vermont has Bigfoots up the ass, we knew we had to take another shot at providing some conclusive proof and to get a better handle on just how many of them dang Bigfoots live there. After all, it ain’t every day you find such a treasure trove of ‘em in a single location.
We knew from experience that it’s useless to try to physically capture a Bigfoot when there is a group of them, especially if it’s a family unit, because they will destroy any trap to rescue one of their own. Instead, we decided to employ a variety of remote cameras. What we found out was that these Bigfoots are extremely intelligent. We set out a series of twelve cameras and every single one of them was gone the next day. Four of the cameras were cellular and should have captured an image or two as they were removed but that did not happen, with a SINGLE EXCEPTION: we did get one clear image sent o my phone of a Wampus Cat, so them sumbitches are somehow working with the dang Bigfoots. We never knew there were any Wampus Cats in Vermont, so we now have a double mystery to solve.
As always, I will keep all you loyal fans apprised of the next steps in this historic investigation.
Pat “I lope my mule whether I need it or not” Gray
Well, we did it now. We went out on a very secretive night hunt to see if we could get a better handle on the Wampus Cat in Brownsville. Jim did some research and found out them Wampus Cats have a real affinity for tuna fish. We cleaned the shelves of all the tuna we could find in Claremont. We ended up with just shy of 400 cans. We went for broke and emptied every single one of them sumbitches in and around a culvert-style bear trap that Jim welded up special just for this hunt. As you can imagine, it smelled like low tide at a whorehouse, so we knew we should expect some Wampus Cat action. We were not disappointed. At about midnight, while we were at a safe distance some 200 yards away, we heard a serious commotion at the trap followed by the trap door closing shut. After that, there was a howl that must have been heard all the way up in Dixville Notch, NH. Apparently, the howl started on helluva chain reaction. There were a series of tree knocks and bigfoot vocalizations and a lot of movement in the woods. Though armed, we did not dare to move. We heard all kinds of noise at the trap followed by silence. We waited a good 15 more minutes before finally approaching the trap. It was tore all to hell and there were Bigfoot tracks up the ass! Obviously them cock knockers are thicker’n thieves and working’ together.
We’re not sure what to do next, but as ALL you faithful fans know, we ain’t givin’ up! We will catch these sumbitches and keep you posted on our progress!
I am back with a brand-new update. We came up with a revised game plan and decided that it might be possible to capture some of them dang Wampus Cats and Bigfoots at the same time if we built a formidable enough trap. Jim spent two solid weeks welding up and reinforcing a steel shipping container that that we believed would hold friggin’ King Kong. We managed to get that sumbitch out in the woods with a couple of dang skidders and baited it heavy with a NY delicatessen’s worth of meat and seafood. Let me tell ya, this trappin’ business is expensive as a sumbitch.
Like we did the last time around, we set the trap with its spring-loaded door and waited a safe distance away to see what would transpire. We heard all kinds of commotion including Bigfoot tree knocks and howls, as well as the horrible screeching calls of the Wampus Cats. The whole racket lasted for about 15-20 minutes then everything eventually went silent. We never did hear the container door slam shut. When we eventually made our way to the trap, the door was closed, but there were no sounds from inside. We cautiously peaked through a small observation window, but the trap was empty. Upon opening the door, we discovered at every bit of bait was gone. Now we are talkin’ ‘bout $3,000 of freakin’ meats. Near as we can figure, them bastards were smart enough to hold the trap door open while some went inside and retrieved the bounty. Honest to goodness, we never knew them Bigfoots and Wampus Cats possessed such intelligence.
It’s back to the drawing board for now, but I knew y’all would want to know the latest new from BRVPRO.
Pat “I lope my mule whether I need it or not” Gray
Hello friends! It is amazing how my experiences with cryptids and the paranormal seemingly come from out of nowhere. A couple of weeks ago, I ended up taking a young lad out deer hunting in the local area during youth weekend. While we were in search of the ever-elusive whitetails, we encountered something far more unexpected, and frankly quite scary. While we traversed Skin Pecker Ridge, we began feeling as though we were being followed. In fact, “stalked” is a more accurate description. We quickly concealed ourselves behind a large boulder and hunkered down hoping to see what it was. Well, we were in for quite a surprise, it turned out to be a Lizard Demon that was following us. He was walking upright and as I aimed my rifle scope to get a better look at that magnificent sumbitch, he must have spotted my movement. He immediately dropped down on all fours and ran away at an alarming speed. We did not see him again, but it was one helluva encounter. Anyhow, I just wanted to share this with my legion of fans and followers. It was very exciting and I will have to return with the team for a serious investigation of this spectacular cryptid!
Pat “I lope my mule whether I need it or not” Gray
I want to wish all my faithful friends and followers a very Happy Thanksgiving! I would do this crazy cryptid and paranormal research on my own, even without acknowledgement and accolades, but I must admit, knowing that I am adored and followed by legions of fans of the mysterious and arcane myths of out time, make everything I do seem even more worthwhile.
Just the other day, as I was casually strolling through Ludlow and surreptitiously loping my mule, I gave pause to be truly thankful that I can earn a living solving our greatest mysteries here in Vermont.
Once again, thank you one and all, you are amazing!
Pat Gray
Professional